The Uprisal of Shinra, Inc
by Raine The Evil Turk
Summary: This is going somewhere along the lines of Shinra regaining power. But there's a little problem when it turns out that someone survived AVALANCHES last battle. Rated for Reno's language.
1. Reno's Hobby

Raine: Uhh...Okies, I haven't done this in a while! Time to get my humerous brain working again and write some funny fic! But I guess I'm gonna have to make this one serious, being a Final Fantasy one and all. Okay ladies, disclaimer! 

The almighty evil one does not Final Fantasy VII or it's characters. No matter how much she claims to have bought Reno on an internet auction site, don't listen.

Raine: Aww man, that hurts...

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

A figure with a pair of Mako blue eyes stumbled out of the alleyway, closely followed by two others. The first person was stumbling, and grabbed hold of the wall to keep himself upright.

"That's all the bars in Sector 7 Reno, any more you want us barred from?" A female voice chided.

The red head with the Mako eyes stared drunkenly at the bluenette Turk for a moment before answering. "Shurrup, I know anotherrr. And quit the sharcashm Shaffy, or I'll make you do my reportsh ash well." Reno slurred his words and stumbled blearilly on, intent upon passing out before the night ended.

"My name isn't 'Shaffy', it's Safiria. And if you're gonna shorten it, make it something unslurrable." The bluenette straightened her black uniform, flicked her long hairand moved quickly aside as drunken Reno pitched forward.

The huge figure with them lifted his shades and peered at Reno. "We'd better find this last bar and let him sit down." He replaced his shades over his ever-unreadable eyes. Throwing Reno over his shoulder, they went on there way, trying to decipher Reno's directions.

Safiria grumbled most of the way. "Why do I have to be here anyways? I could be in a nice warm bed right about now."

Reno giggled from over Rude's shoulder. "How about MY bed?"

"How about you quit your philanderism. It got us chucked from that other bar."

"That guy was eyeing my girl, yo?"

Rude shook his head and dumped his friend on the ground. "That's because she was his girlfriend!"

"Buh she woulda been MY girlfriend if he had'n"hic" swung at me. "

It was Safiria's turn to shake her head. "What's the point, you would have gotten bored with her within two days, or something along those lines."

"So? Quantity is quality, my dear rookie. I'll teach you something yet."

"Yeah, like how to drink the local drunk under the table... Safiria muttered.

Reno stood up and dusted off his suit. The cold air seemed to have sobered him up considerably. "I heard that girl. And to answer your first question, you're here to learn how to get blitzed and STILL turn up for work the next day. I demand that you drink something that isn't child's play in the next bar."

The trio trudged along the chilly streets of the rebuilt sector 7, untill they came upon a bar which seemed pretty popular. Reno climbed the stairs but was stopped by the rookie that he was in charge of.

"Uhh...I don't recommend going in there sir." Safiria told him.

"Aww man. She only calls me sir when it's important. What's up Saffy?"

"I just really don't think we should go in there, that's all." Safiria was looking restless as he grabbed her wrist and dragged her inside. Rude followed close behind, curious at the reaction of the rookie Turk.

The bar fell silent as the three entered. Reno figured out too late why Safiria was against entering. "Uhh...Lemme, guess, this is that stupid AVALANCHE bar, right? "

As soon as the words left his lips, he was pinned to the wall by three hefty looking men, all of whom had knives at his throat.

"Aww fuck. I guess it is."

He glanced sideways and saw that his partner had several men with guns surrounding him, where as his rookie had several leering men surrounding her.

Reno groaned inwardly. 'Tseng's gonna kill me. I'll be lucky if she doesn't report me for endangering the life of a rookie.' he thought to himself.

His thoughts where broken when a female voice cut through the silence of the bar like a good sharp Masamune through an Ancient.

A pair of maroon eyes glared at the Turks, one by one, before stopping on the rookie, who, if she backed up against the wall any farther, would probably push straight through it.

"Leave the kid alone guys, it's these two you should worry about." The female flicked her dark hair.

"Aww c'mon Tifa babe, all we wanna do is get slammed. Is that too much to ask? We could walk all the way to another bar and pay them if you want?" Reno moaned, although he knew he probably wouldn't be bothered to walk too far.

"I'll tell you what. Since you actually had the guts to walk in here, and since I know for a fact that you've been kicked out of every other bar in the sector for fighting, I'll let you stay. But this place probably isn't your type, as you can see, there'r no ladies for you to chat up."

"Booze is better'n nothin'...I guess." Reno glared as the three men let him go, and made his way through the crowd to the bar. He slammed a huge amount of Gil on the counter. "Keep 'em coming, I wanna pass out at least once tonight."

Tifa glared at him. "Shouldn't you be worried about that girl who you stupidly left in a corner full of drunk AVALANCHE members who've had a long day and are probably looking to unwind?"

Reno muttered something about her looking after herself, before finally getting up to rescue Safiria and bumping into Rude, who had made his way to the bar too.

"Hey ladies, hands of my rookie. She's vicious." Reno growled. They were keeping him from his one true friend, alcohol. It was always there for him, as he liked to say.

"She's certainly proving how vicious she is. All she can do is stutter and walk backwards." the crowd of men roared with laughter, and went back to there drinks as Reno picked the rookie up and swung her over his shoulder.

Safiria let out a long sigh. "Geez, I thought you were gonna leave me. Thanks a lot! Hey, watch where you're putting your hand!"

Reno grinned. " Oh, I know where I'm putting my hand, one hundred percent."

When he put Safiria back down, he was quickly slapped across the face.

"I don't see you grabbing Rude's ass!" Safiria growled at Reno. After everything that had went on, she was beginning to get into one Hell of a mood.

"Shut up and drink something. And sit down while you're at it."

Safiria walked away from Reno and began to sit beside Rude when he stopped her. "I suggest sitting in the stool against the wall, or you're gonna have more than Reno to worry about."

Safiria sighed again. 'I guess it's better to sit beside Reno than to have countless drunks trying to get it on with me.' she thought to herself. 'Why couldn't he have let me go with Elena to see her mom?'

As Safiria sat down, the girl who had told Reno to rescue her walked over. She grinned at Safiria with kind eyes. "So, watcha having, kid?"

"Umm...I don't know..." Safiria wasn't much of a drinker, unlike Reno and Rude who could name every single drink this side of Midgar. The strongest she'd ever had was a single shot of vodka, and even that had been watered down.

"She'll have your strongest. Somethin' snappy."

Tifa glared at Reno. "I don't think she needs you to answer for her. She has her own brain and voice you know."

"So? I'm, like, her supervisor. Gotta make sure she ain't letting me down, ya know?"

"A new rookie? How could Tseng trust the biggest philanderer in Midgar with a girl to look after? And her job isn't to get drunk anyway."

"I wouldn't treat her like a kid by the way. She's a big girl, she can handle a few drinks. Or she will soon enough. She has some ferocious magic at her disposal."

"Would both of you just shut the hell up! You're talking to me like some sort of sissy!" Safiria glared angrily at them both.

A man with a gun armhad been watching since they came in, and noticed that they were only in for a drink. They seemed to be paying as well, so he was willing not to cause a ruckus. He walked over to the ber for another drink, where Tifa greeted him warmly.

"Hey Barret. What'll it be?"

"The usual." he grunted. "Who's the kid?"

Reno, who had taken notice of Safiria's fowl mood shook his head. "Ooh boy.."

Safiria slammed her hands on the counter and stood up to face Barrett.

"Shut the Hell up, or I'll rip out your intestinal track and FEED IT TO YOU!"

Barrett stood stunned for a moment, and Rude slightly turned to face the maddened Safiria.

Reno, however, grinned. "Well that was certainly colourful. How about a drink to calm you down?"

"Unless you wanna drink my fist, don't talk to me!"

Reno winced and turned back to his drink. He barely even noticed the rookie storming towards the door. Rude was more observant, and followed at a distance, to make sure she didn'tgo mental at him as well. He couldn't help but notice the amused expression on Tifa's face.

"Make sure Reno doesn't start a fight in here as well..."

Tifa grinned. "He won't, or he'll have me to deal with."

'Hmm...this could be a great time to see if I can get some Shinra info from the drunken jackass.' thought to herself.

"So, any other plans apart from getting drunk?"

Reno glared at Tifa with an unfocused look. "What's it to you? And why are you talking to me?"

"Just trying to be friendly!" Tifa said angrily. "What's wrong, am I making you sober? I can vaguely remember you telling the same thing to Elena in Wutai. Do you still treat rookies like dogs?"

"Shurrup." Reno began to slur again. "only the ones who aren't under my "hic" charge."

"You're actually trusted? Ha!" Tifa went back to cleaning glasses when she saw Rude come back in.

Reno looked up at him. "Well, did ya get her or wha'?"

Rude shook his head. "She got on a train to sector 4 just before I got there. I would asume that she's either on the way home, or going to trash your apartment."

"Meh, pobably off home. She doesn't have the guts to trash anything."

"She had no problem blowing up the old reactor at Nibelheim."

"...beginners luck."

Reno soon started singng to his friend, which cleared out most of the bar. Tifa soon shooed them away, she wasn't staying up all night to babysit the drunken red head.

Reno stumbled out of the bar, still singing, goggles askew on his forehead. He stopped singing when he saw a dark figure walking towards the bar.

"No good, Vince, my man! The evil hostesh jusht chucked ush out."

Vincent stared at the babbling Turk and growled. He flicked his cloak bhind him and made his way towards Tifa's Seventh Heaven.

"You're sho violent! Man I'm gonna puke."

Rude shook his head and dragged Reno to his feet and made his way to the station, where he would have to pay a guard to make sure Reno got of at the right stop. And got to the right apartment. Rude lived a few stops before after all.

"Aww dang, I'm gonna have one fucker of a hangover tomorrw. Haha...ha..."

Rude shook his head and threw the passed out Reno onto a bench to await the trains arrival.

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Booyahkasha! End of le chapter! How was that? Huh, huh? Please Reviewwwwww!


	2. The Shinra, Inc Mansion

I can't be bothered waiting for reviews. I need to put another chapter up! Muhahahahahaha! 

And for those of you wondering, this is after the Silver Haired Men incident.

Disclaimer: The almighty evil one does not own Final Fantasy VII or it's characters.

Oh yeah...I realised that I wrote that Safiria was in a fowl mood, instead of foul. She feels like a bad chicken apparently. And I'm just hoping that I got the name Ayaka correct.

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Cloud yawned and stretched out on his bed, gazing at the roof. Apparently, Vincent had been looking for him the night before, and the Turks had been around with a new recruit. He was beginning to get annoyed that no one would disturb him when something was up. He yawned and rose from his bed, wondering how much work needed done today. Rebuiding Sector 7 was easy enough, with the help of the massive amount of people who had wanted to become**Avalanche** members. Making it a nice place to live was proving difficult. With not many plants around, it looked like a desert. The only things that had grown around the slums were weeds, where as other sectors were flourishing.

"Wonder if Barretts got a plan on removing that stupid Shinra monument..." He said out loud.

As if he had heard, Barrett busted into the room, yelling at the top of his lungs that they had developed a new type of explosive that would turn the monument to dust., and that Vincent was still waiting for him.

"This should be fun." Cloud laughed out loud, before getting up and exiting the room.

Downstairs, Tifa told him that Marlene was making breakfast, while she had to help Barrett with the new toy.

Vincent looked up as he saw Cloud enter. "Good morning."

Cloud turned to the corner where his friend was well hidden. " Morning. What's up? Come to help with the rebuilding. Or are you still wondering where to by a phone?"

"Oh, I got a phone, a while ago. I'm still trying to get it to turn on. Actually, I came to tell you that Shinra are up to something. The Turks were in Nibelheim a while ago. They blew up the reactor."

Cloud sat down and wondered why the Shinra would be blowing up their Mako reactors. Sure, they weren't using Mako anymore, but it wasn't like them to clean up after themselves. Vincents voice broke through his thoughts.

"I've also heard that the Turks were around, looking for**Soldier** recruits, and training a few rookie Turks as well." He kept speaking when Cloud remained silent. "What plot do you think they're up to his time?"

"Hmm...How could they be doing anything without their dear President to tell them what to do? Isn't he still...incapacitated?"

Vincent shook his head. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news...actually, let me rephrase that. I**am** the bearer of bad news, " Vincent continued although Cloud laughed at him. "They didn't use explosives to blow up the reactor. It was magic. And as far as I can tell, it was one persons spell. It takes a great deal of intelligence to cast anything that powerful. And I also found out from a...'lost' soldier that it was Tseng who planned where the weakest area of the reactor was so that magic could penetrate through to the Mako energy still being stored."

Cloud was still chuckling. "By 'lost' you mean you singled him out and attacked him?"

Vincent's mouth curved to form an evil sort of smile. "You know me too well."

x-x

Reno stumbled into the office he shared with Rude an hour or so late, landing in a heap beside his rookie, who glared darkly at him before dumping a pile of paperwork in front of him.

"Tseng wants this done before nine. Since you're an hour late, you only have half an hour. Good luck with that." Safiria remarked, leaving Reno to stand up.

After grabbing his desk to balance, Reno pretended that his head wasn't about to explode in pain. "Be a babe and gimme a hand."

"Be a good superior and set a good example for me."

Reno looked at Rude, who had been watching from his desk across the room. He shrugged his shoulders at Reno. "Gotta be a good role model. Good luck getting that all done."

Reno was left opening and closing his mouth like a fish, making no sound. He obviouly wasn't going to be getting any help today. He hastilly grabbed the files and opened one while sitting down. His head was killing him, but Tseng was nasty if you didn't do the work.

"Why can't you help?" Reno look up at Rude, but he wasn't there. He was just in time to see the door closing. "Aww, come on guys! A little help? No? Fine! We'll see who can get some work done! Oww, my head..."

Reno stubled into the office that Tseng shared with Elena and her rookie fifteen minutes later than he was supposed to have. Tseng glared at him.

"I hope your hangover kills you. Not only are you late, but you're late to finish with those files as well!" Tseng turned around and faced out of the window at the far end of the room. He could see Reno's reflection and could see that he was sticking his tongue out. "And if unless you want me to rip the tongue from your cocky little mouth, I'd keep it where I can't see it." Tseng couldn't help but add on a little more. "And by that, I mean in your own mouth."

"Aww come on, I got them done in forty five minutes, that's gotta be record. A lot quicker than the hour and a half you set me to do them in." Reno scratched his head, which was pounding even more with every word he said.

"No you didn't. I know for a fact that Elena felt sorry for you and done most of them herself."

At this, Reno started mumbling to himself. "At least 'Lena's nice enough to help..." He was cut off by the sound of sniggering in the corner. He hadn't noticed that Elena's rookie, Ayaka, was in the corner, apparently getting some kicks out of Reno's scolding. "Be quiet brat, or I'll set the vicious monster on you."

Ayaka stood up and walked to the door. She had been working on files with Elena all morning and needed some caffiene. "I'll tell her you said that, we're getting some coffee with Elena in a while."

Reno watched as she slipped out of the office, flicking her dark hair behind her just to annoy him. He couldn't stand rookies if he wasn't allowed to tell them what to do. Which meant that he hated everyone**not** under his control. Except Rude's rookie, Teioh, who he was teaching the art of dating all the single ladies in the building. Reno liked the taken ones for himself. It was always fun to break people up.

Tsengs voice brought him back to reality. "Leave them on my desk and don't let me see your face again today unless it's important."

There was a thud, as Reno slammed the files in the desk and slammed the door all the way out. Being a drama queen as usual.

x-x

Tseng sighed to himself as he checked the files for stupid errors or comments that Reno usually made. If Reno wasn't one of the best Turks who had ever entered the Shinra building, he would have been fired a long time ago. He sighed even louder when he saw the comment he had written about a certain bar in Junon. Apparently, the leader was part of a rebel group, and must be dealt with. What Reno had written beside it was that 'the fucking punk over charges me everytime I'm in there! Someone should show the bastard what a Holy Bartender is!'.

"He's definately**not** getting this case." He looked up as the door opened. A young man, about the same age as Reno walked in. He had the same arrogant air as well, although his hair was considerably shorter, and black. It hung over his face at one side.

"What is it Teioh?"

Teioh took this as his cue to enter and stepped up to Tsengs desk. "Rude's taking me with him to the next job, so he sent me to pick up the filesir."

At least he's polite, Tseng thought, handing him the folder. "Tell Reno to expect more paperwork, since Rude and yourself will be gone for a while."

"Yes sir." Teioh turned and left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Tseng could hear Reno swear loudly from the next room as he was given the message.

x-x

Elena, Safiria and Ayaka sat at a table in the staff lounge. Elena and Ayaka were talking about there last job, while Safiria listened.

"It was pretty easy. All we had to do was _accidently_ push the guy off the bridge." Ayaka giggled. Their original plan was to shoot him from a distance, but Ayaka had _accidently_ pushed him, as she put it.

Elena was also giggling. "No one suspected a thing. So, Reno took you out on any jobs yet?" They both turned to face Safiria.

"Yeah right. Apparently, I'd only get in the way. The only job I've been on is the Nibel Reactor one, and it was on Tsengs orders that I was to go. It's not as if Reno has the brains to use magic. I don't know where he get's his high immunity to lightning from."

"Maybe he was struck by lightning as a kid. He's stupid enough to walk around during lightning storms while swinging a metal pole around." Ayaka was about to laugh, when an annoying drawl sounded from behind her.

"I'm smart enough to know that you're talking about me, aren't I?" Reno grabbed an empty seat and sat down, slouching. "So, what you ladies up to? Apart from bitching about me."

Safiria glared at him. "Apart from bitching, we're doing nothing. _Sir_." She emphisized the 'sir' with sarcasm.

"Aww, you still mad at me? Sorry for treating you like the brat that you are. How about we kiss and make up in the elevator?" Reno stopped when Safiria started cursing him under her breath. "Okay, I guess not. Why is it that you hate me so much anyway?"

Ayaka stifled a laugh. "It may have something to do with the first thing that you said when Tseng introduced her as the new rookie. What was it...Oh yeah. _'Are you single?_' And he called you a vicious monster earlier."

Safiria smiled at him sweetly. "And there was me going to help you with your paperwork.You obviously don't need it. I guess I'll just help Elena and Ayaka. You better run along and deal with it if you want to leave early and get drunk like you usually do."

Reno slunk off, in the opposite direction of his office, obviously in a bad mood. Elena, Safiria and Ayaka all started laughing at his immaturity.

"If only I had known how to make him mad when I was a rookie. You need to teach me how to make smart ass coments that annoy him sometime Saffy." Elena laughed.

"Aww man, now you're calling me Saffy as well. I guess I'll just call you _'Lena babe'_ then."

After they had all finished their coffee, they headed for Elena's office, where a pile of folders and paperwork were waiting. Tseng raised an eyebrow as they entered giggling like schoolgirls.

"Aren't you supposed to be helping Reno, Safiria?"

"He can help himself today. He deserves it sir."

Tseng chuckled at the younger girl. "I'll have to agree with you on this one."

x-x

While the other Turks were busy ripping Reno, Rude and Teioh were at the location of their mission. It was the second time that Rude had been to Nibelheim in the past few weeks. Teioh turned to Rude to ask what was up.

"So...Why are we here again?"

Rude decided that it was best to tell him about the mission, or he would just get in the way. "We've had reports that some of the villagers saw a man with silver hair enter the mansion. We're here to make sure they're not true, or else eliminate the problem. We can't have anything like the incident where Sephiroth was revived."

"So you're saying that there's the possibility that another psycho with grey hair's loafing around in there?"

"...You sound just like Reno. That **can't** be healthy."

"What can I say, he's teaching me well. My next secret plot is to steal a girl from the hotshot himself."

Rude's mouth twitched slightly in amusement. "I wouldn't even try that. Unless you like hospital food."

They both made there way towards the Shinra, Inc. Mansion, where Teioh tried the door.

"...Locked."

The next thing Teioh seen was Rude's giant frame flying at the door, knocking it clean of it's hinges. He straightened up and swept some dust off his jacket. "No it's not."

Teioh laughed at Rude, before climbing over the remains of the solid oak door, and enetering the mansion. It was eerilly silent, but he could felt a presence that told him it was far from uninhabited. He could hear the flapping of huge wings and turned just in time to slash at a mutated looking bat with his katana.

Rude smiled appreciatively. "Nice shot. You're gonna be a great Turk."

"Thanks sir."

Rude looked aroun the huge main hall of the mansion. He hadn't been here in a while, but he could tell that someone had been living in it. "If there's anyone here, they'll probably be in the basement...Let's check the other rooms anyway. If they have any brains, they'll be hiding in one of these rooms looking for their chance of escaping. You take the left hand side, I've got the right."

x-x

Rude started walking towards the first door. He pulled on a pair of metal capped gloves, and then took a gun from inside his jacket. He stood for a moment, as if pretending not to be there, and then kicked the door open and held his gun out to surprise anything in the room.

"Empty..."

This went on for a few rooms, untill he got to the last door in the corridor. Swinging open the door, it seemed empty. As he was leaving, Rude felt war breath on the back of his neck. Turning slowly, he saw a mass of shadows, all pulled into one. It didn't seem to have a body, but that didn't stop it breathing, a vile scent that burned the throat. Rude was about to shoot, when a claw sprung from the darkness and knocked him into the hall. Looking around for his weapon, he saw it a few feet away.

"Damn...This can't be good."

Reaching for the weapon, he had almost reached it when a sharply taloned foot crushed his outstretched arm. Rude winced in pain, but looked up. The shadows had dispersed from around the creature. He could now see rows of bleach white teeth protruding from a scaled snout. Huge leathery wings sprouted from the dragon like creatures back and its green eyes glistened malevolently.

"Definately not good."

Using his free hand, Rude punched the dragons claw that was holding him down until it rose up, ready to blast him into oblivion. It was times like these when Safiria's magic came in handy. Dodging one blast of scorching blue flames, Rude attempted to pummel the creature, which proved to be useless. It's scaley armour protected it. As he lunged at it again, a heavy blow on the back off his head knocked him through the wall opposite. Just as he was about to retalliate, he saw the fangs of the dragon screaming towards him, too fast to avoid.

x-x

Teioh wandered though the old mansion, taking in the sights as well as checking out his side of the house. On the mantelpiece in one room was an old framed photo, which had been turned face down. Cleaning the dust from the cracked galss, he eventually pulled the glass away from the frame as well. The picture showed a woman with long dark hair, beside two other scientists. One looked older than he actually was, and wore glasses . His black hair and hunched figure gave the impression of a crazy scientist. The man beside him looked younger, with a lighter shade of brown hair than the womans.

"Hey, he looks like a Turk..."

Teioh's eyes moved to the man standing behind the woman. He had black hair which fell in front of his face, but was still tidy. He was wearing the older blue uniform of the Turks. He didn't look too happy either, he seemed to be glaring at the crazier looking scientist. "Maybe Tseng'll know who he is..."

Teioh put the photo in his inside pocket, in time to see Rude flying through the wall and landing in a heap at his feet. He tried to stand, but a hude scaley monster followed him through the wall. Just as it was ready to finish Rude, Teioh drew his katana and slashed at the monster. It pulled back it's head in surprise, with blood pouring from it's jaw. Teioh attacked again, quick enough to avoid the dragons own attacks and slashed through it's armoured hide. The dragon yowled in surprise before falling back from where it came and laying still in the hallway.

Teioh knealt down beside Rude. "You okay sir?"

"Gnn...I'll be...fine." Rude pulled himself to his feet. He could feel the head ache from hell coming on. He stumbled into the hall, and gave the dragon a sharp kick for nothing. He knew it was dead, but it deserved it. Picking up his gun, he straightened up and cast a Cure spell on himself.

"Maybe I should get Safiria to teach me some spells."

"Or maybe you should learn to use a proper weapon sir." Teioh was grinning as he appeared beside his superior.

"At least you're good for something Teioh. Maybe we shouldn't split up. It's better to have multiple skills at you disposal after all."

Teioh nodded his approval. "I agree. Someone needs to look after you sir. I guess the basements next?"

Rude shook his head at the rookie. "Yes, the basements next."

Their trip to the basement was uneventful. Apart from Teioh screaming at a spider which landed on his shoulder, nothing else happened, although the feeling of something living in the mansion was amplified as they got closer and closer to the end of the basements hall.

"Let's hope there's nothing in there, huh sir?"

Rude lifted his shades and looked at the door knob. It was obvious that it had been used recently. The dust on it hd been diturbed.

"Yes, I think we should."

Opening the door quietly, Rude looked around before entering. It seemed to be deserted inside the room. Teioh stepped inside behind him.

"Do you think we got lucky?"

Maniacal laughter echoed from a corner as Teioh said the words, and both men got ready for a fight. Standing in the corner was a dark figure. His lank silver hair hung around his face, as if dead. He was a pale ghostly white that would make Vincent look heavilly tanned. Everything about him looked dead, or defeated.

"Long time no see, Turk. Where's your stupid red head friend? I still want to hurt him for kicking me in the face back then..."

"Huh? Who are you!" Rude demanded angrily.

"You don't remember me? Think back to last year. When you destroyed my brothers, as well as my mother!"

The figure stepped from the darkness, rage and anger etched into his face.

Teioh looked perplexed. He didn't have a clue what was going on anymore. Rude however, soon remembered.

"You? You can't be here! I heard that Cloud dealt with you three!"

Yazoo flicked his hair back. "No, you thought he had. He killed Loz while I was with him, but not me. Before the smoke cleared, I managed to escape. I was just going to find a dark corner and die in it, but then I heard that Cloud didn't die. And neither did your stupid President, or his stupid Turks. So I found myself a dark corner where I could use the tehnology to become stronger. I'm even more powerful than before! This basement has a lot of human advancement technology..."

Yazoo started laughing again, not noticing that Rude was edging towards the door with Teioh. "I guess I should thank you. If you lot hadn't defeated me, I'd never have gotten so powerful!" His eyes were gleaming a blue that could only come from contaminated Mako. At his side he held a gun. He slowly raised it and pointed it at Rudes head.

"Now!" Rude yelled to Teioh, diving out of the room and closing the door. They heard Yazoo firing his wepaon, and the sudden blast at the door. Hurrying to their feet, they took off own the corridor, with Yazoo on there heals, randomly firing at them.

"You can't get away you know!"

Teioh, who was faster than Rude, began clearing a path through the fiends that had suddenly come out of hiding, so that he didn't fall behind anymore than he already was. He kept ging even when he felt a sharp pain in his left shoulder blade. He could feel the blood pouring from the wound that Yazoo had made when he finally rached the front door. Rude came stumbling after him, he too had also been hit. As they fell onto the grass outside, they saw a bunch of soldiers running inside.

Rude collapsed in a heap, his breathing growing more pained. Teioh looked up at the soldiers. "Where...did they come from...?"

When he tried to stand, he tripped. Turning over to see what was going on, he saw a pair of icy blue eyes staring at him. They weren't Mako eyes, so he knew they could only belong to Safiria. He saw Reno lift Rude with the help of another soldier before he blacked out.

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Okay people, you need to review! How was that for quickness huh? One day goes by and another chapters up. I'm in a writing mood, so chapter 3 should be sometime soon!


	3. Tea, coffee or marajuana sir?

Uh...yeah. So, here's chapter 3! 

Disclaimer: The almighty one does not own Final Fantasy VII or it's characters. Just the silly story.

Hey, that's not very nice! Bad disclaimer, bad!

About Ayaka...I said she had dark hair in the last chapter, but it's actually lilac! Okay, now that you all know...Onwards!

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"So what you're saying is that Yazoo is **alive!**" Tseng yelled angrily at the soldier in front of him. "And what about Rude and Teioh! What became of them?"

The soldier took a step back from the angered Tseng and saluted before addressing him. "Both are in the hospital wing being treated for injuries sir!"

Tseng covered his face with his hands and sunk into his chair. He couldn't believe this had happened. Yazoo would most definitely come after the President, and he had no idea of his location to notify him. 'So much for regaining power...' he thought to himself.

He stood up and dismissed the soldier, before making his way to the elevator that would take him in the right place. When he got there, a nurse approached him.

"Ah, sir, you're finally here. I'm afraid you can't go in yet, both are still being treated."

Tseng glared at the young nurse. "Well, at least tell me of there conditions!"

"The younger one should be fine after a week or so of rest, but the older man is still in theatre."

Tseng looked up in shock. "Theatre! What happened!

"They were shot at sir, but that's all I know. Some of the soldiers know some details, as does Reno and his rookie."

It seemed to Tseng that all the women in the building new Reno. He hurried up the corridor to the waiting room, where he found Reno leaning against a wall and Safiria holding an ice pack to her face.

"What happened?"

Reno didn't even acknowledge Tseng's presence. Safiria started grumbling about everything being too loud. A soldier who was in the room nursing a sprained wrist stood and half saluted with his one good arm.

"A maniac with silver hair attacked us sir! Someone from Nibelheim heard gunfire and called a friend to tell them that something was up. If her friend hadn't been a secretary, Rude and Teioh would be dead sir."

Tseng frowned. "But how on earth did a secretary manage to get a full squadron and two Turks out there?"

At this point, Safiria started speaking. "Reno just so happened to have been chatting her up at the time. Apparently, he's useful for something."

When Reno's name was mentioned, Tseng turned to face him. He was still leaning against the wall, with his head down. His hair was obscuring what the shadows weren't, so it was impossible to tell what he was feeling.

"And what happened to you?"

Safiria removed the ice pack from her face. An angry red welt smiled from just below her left eye to just above her neck. "Forgot about myself, sir. Reno saw what had happened to Rude and flew for the guy screaming bloody murder. I cast a barrier around him that would protect him from the shots, so he attacked me instead."

Tseng sighed. "That doesn't explain what happened."

"After cursing at me, he summoned some sort of fiend with vine's for arms, which should explain my face. As soon as I had thrown some Fire spells at it and sent it down, the guy with silver hair flew out of no where and gave me one serious case of concussion sir." She replaced the ice pack over her face.

Just as Tseng was about to take a seat, a nurse opened the door.

"Umm, sir? We've just finished with the older one. Mister Teioh is in room 17, Mister Rude is in room 10. You can visit them both, but only one at a time in room 10, he's still very weak."

As soon as she had finished speaking Reno disappeared through the door. Tseng didn't even need to guess where he was going.

"Safiria, would you mind checking on Teioh? There's something I need to take care of..."

Safiria knew this was more of an order than a request, so she got up and stretched her legs. Her head was still spinning, so she had to grab the top of a chair to balance herself. She made her way down the corridor, but stopped at the room Rude was in. Looking in the window, she saw Rude, still unconscious, lying in a bed with a few wires and tubes about the place. Reno was staring at his partner with a lost look on his face, like a little boy pulled away from his older brother. He looked up when he felt Safiria watching him. She gave him a supportive smile before carrying on down the corridor. Teioh was propped up in a bed, staring absently at the wall in front of him. He had bandages wrapped from his chest to the wound on his soldier, and a few on his arms where the monsters in the building had managed to get a few hits through him. He looked up when he heard Safiria enter.

"Thanks for helping me back there."

Safiria smiled at him. "No problem. I'm hoping that you would have done the same for me."

Teioh let out a chuckle. "How could I let a pretty face die?"

Safiria stopped smiling and put on an expression of mock seriousness. "Oh my god, you're beginning to sound like Reno!" She covered her face with her hands in an attempt to hide the amusement from her face.

"Aww man. I'm lying in a hospital bed, and all you can do is joke around? That hurts man...Anyways, what brings pretty little you to see sexy little me?"

"You know, I find it hard sitting in the same room as Reno, so unless you want me to leave, you can quit acting like him."

Teioh grinned at her. "I'm not acting, I naturally look this hot."

Just as Safiria felt like she could slap him, Elena burst into the room with Ayaka.

"Are you all right Teioh? I heard about what happened!" Elena yelled, rushing over to Teioh's bedside. Ayaka took a seat next to the bed.

"I'm fine 'Lena. How about you? Wanna go out for a drink sometime?"

Ayaka couldn't help but laugh at him. "He's fine. Let's go 'Lena, we still have some paperwork to finish."

Elena stopped fussing over Teioh, only a little relieved that he was fine. He was still as annoying as Reno. "What about Rude?"

Safiria grinned stupidly. "He's in room 10. But we're only allowed in one at a time, cuz he's really sick!"

Elena glared at the rookie who was grinning at her. "And you think this is funny!"

Teioh looked closely at Safiria before voicing his opinion. "Whoa, you look like you've had a bit much to drink."

"I'm okay, I just hit my head. Haha, You have little chicks flying round your head 'Lena..."

Elena gave Safiria a worried look when Reno walked in. He was looking as if he had roughed the night in a back alley. "You can see Rude if you want. The nurse kicked me out..."

Ayaka looked up at Reno, a little confused. "Umm...What happened to Saffy by the way? She seems...a bit...out of it."

Reno turned around in time to see the girl falling forwards. He moved in time to catch her before she hit the floor, while Elena ran to fetch a nurse. Ayaka and Teioh looked at each other, both who seemed perplexed. Safiria looked up and rubbed her eyes.

"Aww, I didn't know you cared Reno...Ha."

Reno looked at the rookie with concern. "Okay, somethings definitely wrong with you. That's **my **line."

Elena returned with a nurse, who ordered Reno to carry Safiria into the next room so that she could see just how hard she had hit her head. After they had left the room, Elena rushed off to Tseng's office to inform that they weren't two Turks down, but possibly three. She knocked and entered, just in time to see Tseng hang up the phone. He looked up when he heard her and sat down.

"What is it now? Don't tell me someone else has been incapacitated."

Elena looked at her feet when she replied. "Um, actually sir..."

Tseng sighed. "I think I already know...Safiria's been admitted as well? She did have a nasty looking injury on her face..."

"Actually, it's not her face. She know how she said she had hit her head? Well, it seems to have knocked all sense out of her. She's like acting like a drunken fool. Or Reno, whichever description you prefer sir."

Tseng sighed again. Not only were two Turks hospitalized, but one had gone temporarilly round the bend. He couldn't find out the Presidents location either. He wasn't at his Healin Springs getaway, neither was he in Junon. He had outdone himself this time. It would take Tseng's best intelligence group a while to track him down. He knew it wouldn't be a good idea to let the President go away without telling him where, but he was the President and could do what he wanted to do.

"At least it's only temporary..." All of a sudden,Tseng's face lit up. "Elena?"

"Yes sir?"

"Would you be so kind as to find Wolfe and his crew for me?"

Elena looked confused, before realisation finally hit her. "Oh, you mean Tetsuo sir. I'll fetch him for you sir!"

Elena bounded out of the office. She was always happy to do anything for Tseng. Even if he asked her to babysit Reno, she probably would. She wouldn't guarantee his safety, but she'd do it. Standing in the elevator, she tried to remember what Wolfe looked like, or if she'd even recognise him when she got to the training grounds. She could remember that he was quite tall, and tank-like. He liked guns as well. Apart from that, she didn't know much else about him. She had last saw Wolfe when he went out to investigate the remains of the crater where Sephiroth had been defeated, and that was more than two years ago. The elevator pinged signalling that it had reached the first floor of the massive building, and Elena stepped out, hurrying into yet another elevator. This one went down as well, and she watched as the light vanished when the elevator sank slowly beneath the ground.

"Grr...I hate this thing. Do they ever change the bulb!"

When the elevator came to a halt, Elena climbed out and looked around. Before her was the underground area used to train the**Soldier** candidates. Soldiers were practicing their marksmanship, as well as swordsmanship. Some even practised their magical abilities in areas with magical barriers, to stop any stray spells. Elena chuckled as she watched the men throw spells at each other. They looked like baby sized spells compaired to watch she had saw Safiria cast. A low voice startled Elena, and she backed into the wall.

"Your job is to look for candidates, not to come down here. What's your buisiness!"

As much as Elena had tried to remember him, she still wasn't prepared for the sight of Tetsuo Wolfe, the best member of **Soldier** since Sephiroth, although he didn't quite match up to Sephiroths skill. He was taller than she remembered, towering above her at around six feet and built like a battle tank.

"Umm...Tseng would like to see you in his office, with your best crew..." Elena whimpered and added on feebly, "If that's okay with you of course..."

Wolfe let out an intimidating laugh and glared at Elena. "You're forgetting that you're a Turk. Right now, the President has placed you fools in charge. You sholdn't let intimidation get in the way of power."

Calling Elena a fool was one thing, but that meant that Wolfe had also called Tseng a fool. Drawing herself up to her full height, which wasn't much of a difference anyway, she started bawling at the giant in front of her.

"How dare you call Tseng a fool! I'll have you know that the President left him in charge for a **reason**! If he wanted his whole company to fall to it's knee's with stupidity, then I'm sure he would have promoted**you** to the task!"

Wolfe stared at Elena before laughing again, but a little less intimidating. "Okay, you have my attention. Tell Tsengy-kins that I'll be up as soon as I can."

Turning on her heel and walking back to the elevator, Elena stopped dead. Turning around as she realised what Wolfe had said, she saw him grinning at her, before laughing some more. He liked to laugh apparently. Grumbling all the way back up to her office, she finished the paperwork for her last target, and went to the hospital wing to see how things were.

-x-x-

Walking down the corridor, Elena stopped at Rudes room. Reno had somehow wormed his way passed the nurses and was sitting talking to him, although Rude looked only semi-conscious. She carried on to Teioh's room. Upon entering, she was greeted with a strange scene. Teioh was still in bed, although on his fingers were finger puppets. Ayaka was giggling on the floor. Turning to see what was so funny, she saw Safiria chatting animatedly to Teioh. No, it wasn't Teioh. She was talking to the finger puppets.

"What's going on in here?"

Ayaka stopped giggling for a moment, with enough time to tell Elena what they were up to. "She's so stupid! We told her that the President Rufus had been shrunk, along with Tseng, and now she thinks that she's speaking to them!"

Elena glared at them both inturn, bofore turning to Safiria. "Stop it Safiria, those are just finger puppets! Ignore Teioh and Ayaka!"

Safiria looked confused, but turned to the puppets and told them that she wasn't allowed to talk to them anymore. She sat on the floor in a corner and started singing to herself. Elena told Ayaka to get back to the office and finish her paperwork, and then told Teioh that if she caught him screwing around with Safiria's head, she'd report him to Tseng. As she was getting ready to leave, a nurse walked into the room, dragging Reno by the ear.

"I told you that you had been in there long enough! He needs his rest. I can understand how you feel, but please leave him alone for a while."

Reno grumbled and sat down in a chair next to Teioh. As Elena left, Teioh leaned over and beckoned Reno to listen to him.

"I know something that might cheer you up. See Safiria in the corner? She's a little gullible right now. Tell her anything and she'll believe it. Watch this!"

He shouted to Safiria, who looked up. After telling her that she was a nurse and that she should be looking after Teioh, she immediately jumped to her feet and started rushing around, trying to make him more comfortable. Reno shook his head.

"You know, I can't agree with this. Only I can tell Saffy what to do, y'see? Hey, remember that date you promised me earlier?"

Safiria grinned at Reno. "Oh, you mean when you suggested that we should go kiss and make up in the elevator, and I told you to go screw yourself backwards?"

"Uhh...So**that's** what you said..."

"There's only so many things you an get passed her, you two."

Reno turned when he heard the voice from the door, where Tseng stood, nursing a red ear.

"I take it that you met the nurse?"

"Enough. I have another mission fo ou. It might help you take your mind off...things."

"Really, I'm feeling very vulnerable, how about a day off? Or ten?"

Tseng growled at Reno and threw him a look that warned him not to mess around at such a time. "Get out! And you need to do the paperwork yourself this time, I'm not letting her near anything important."

"Aww, did you hear that Saffy? I think he's saying that you're incapable of doing rookie work. Or he may be calling you just plain stupid."

"I said **out! Now!**"

"Yes sir!"

-x-x-

By the next morning, Teioh was able to hop around on a crutch, and Safiria was back to her usual vindictive self. Well, only to Teioh and Reno. Rude had regained full consciousness and was giving Tseng the details of what had happened at the mansion, when Reno burst in.

"I heard you were awake partner! Thought I'd surprise you with a visit!"

Rude sighed. "My headache's sore enough**without** you Reno."

"Aww, that hurts, yo? I only wanted to see how you were doing."

Tseng glared at Reno. He was always glaring at Reno these days. "Reno, go do something productive. And I mean work-wise, not child-wise."

"Wassup Boss man? Can I get you anything? Tea, coffee, latte, marijuana?"

"Grr..."

Reno stood straight and gave Tseng a mock salute. "Aye aye captain, I was just about to leave!"

Rude let out the laugh he was holding in when Reno was out of earshot. "Someone seems happy."

"As much as he's a bit of an idiot, he was in here as much as the nurses would let him yesterday." Tseng went back to the report he was writing while Rude stared out of the window at the other side of the room. It was raining pretty heavilly.

"I hope he never rode into work today. He's gonna have an accident on that thing."

Tseng smiled at the other Turks comment. "Yes, he did. You can tell Reno only too many times that motorbikes plus rain aren't a good combination, but he'll always ride into work." He laughed when Rude shook his head. Reno may have been annoying and arrogant, only keeping a few good friends, but the ones he kept were invaluable. The type who would be there to help no matter what he came up against. All the Turks were like that. Trust was important for them if they were to work together. Which reminded him that he'd have to lock Safiria and Ayaka in a room with Reno to make them stop getting at each others throats.

"If he didn't do stupid things, he wouldn't be Reno."

Rudes comment made Tseng look up from his report. "And if you didn't look after him, he wouldn't be Reno. He'd be dead."

Rude chuckled before looking around the room again. Tseng noticed that he was looking for something and stopped writing. "What's wrong?"

"My shades...I don't feel right without them."

"Don't you have an inexhaustable supply of those? They're always being broken by...an anonymous person."

Rude chuckled again. He knew who his boss was talking about. Everytime he lost a pair of shades, it was because Reno had stepped upon them, hit him in the face with his EMR or stolen them just to annoy him. After Tseng had finished his report, Reno came rushing back in.

"Oh, you were just leaving boss, yo? Good good, now I can talk to my good _friend_." His emphasis on 'friend' told Tseng that something was up, and as he turned to exit, he found Safiria at the door.

"Reno, I'm gonna string you up like a puppet and then paint your face black and blue!"

He blocked the doorway, not allowing Safiria to enter. "Whatever you're going to do to him, can't it wait until later?"

"But sir, he was..."

"I don't care what he was doing. Deal with it later!"

Reno laughed and then made some faces behind Tseng's back. "Thank you very much Tseng my man! I knew you loved me really."

Tseng could tell what Reno was doing behind him and ushered Safiria out of the room. "And when you get round to dealing with the little bastard, give me a yell."

Reno's face dropped and he resorted to swearing as his boss and his rookie left the hospital wing. Taking a seat next to Rude, he gazed out of the window.

"Man, is it still raining? That means my poor hair's gonna get wet again when I go home."

It was still morning, and Reno had actually gotten into work early, arriving at the same time as Safiria, who wasn't wet because she got on the train, which stopped right next to the building. Safiria was mad at him because, upon entering the main office on their floor, Elena had asked him why Reno was wet, to which he replied that it was because of what 'Saffy' had done to him in the elevator. Some of the male staff from other offices on the floor had heard the conversation and where soon requesting her presence to 'accompany' them to other floors.

"You should wear a helmet, especially in these conditions. It's getting into late November, you should try getting a car or something. Much safer. So, what was that all about?"

Reno grinned at Rude, and started chuckling. "You'll find out soon enough, my friend. Saffy's gotten pretty popular when it comes to elevator travel, put it that way."

Shaking his head, Rude returned to staring out of the window. "You know, it wouldn't be hard for her to shoot you and make it out to be someone elses fault. Yazoo still wants your ass for kicking him in the face last time."

"Everyone wants my ass because it's so damn sexy, yo? He needs to stop making excuses."

"Oh, be gone. You can be so immature at the worst of times. Where are my shades by the way?"

"I stole them so that you wouldn't have any. I wanna see how many you actually have stocked up."

Reno was promptly kicked out of the hospital wing by the nurse who had kicked him out of Rude's room several times the day before.

-x-x-

Later in the afternoon, Reno was given another assignment to take care of. He managed to find where Safiria was hiding from him, in the female changing rooms of the gym after finishing a round of tennis with a friend.

"Reno, have you no shame?"

"No need to worry Saff, it's not like I**haven't** ended up in bed one one of these ladies at some point in their time here."

"Oh, so now it's just 'Saff' now, is it?" She glared at him darkly. "And I highly doubt that you've been to bed with everyone in here."

"Uhh, can I have a show of hands please? And be truthful. Who here**hasn't** been to bed with me?"

Safiria looked around the changing rooms, to find that not one person had their hand up. Reno just stood and grinned at her.

"You know, you should put your hand up. I haven't been to bed with you yet."

Picking up a water bottle, she took aim at Reno's head. "What do you mean by 'yet'? Keep dreaming **sir**, it'll never happen."

Reno ducked in time to avoid the bottle, straightning up in time to recieve a slap across the face.

"Grr! Fine, be that way. I only came looking for you to see if you wanted to come with me on my assignment, but it seems you have better things to do than help me out."

"Wha! No, wait, please! I wanna go! Please?"

Reno stood with his hand covering his face before looking at Safiria. "Don't give me that look. It won't work with me. I'm the one who perfected the puppy look!"

As well as staring at Reno with puppy like, shiney eyes, Safiria began to pout, a great combination to get what you want according to her philosophy.

"Damn you. Fine, come along if you want! But hurry up or I'll leave without you."

Reno stood there for a moment, wondering why Safiria was giving him a look that told him to leave. After he got bored of standing, he asked what she was waiting for.

"I'm not going to get changed in front of you, sir. Out."

"Ugh, you're beginning to sound like Tseng. Fine, I'll wait outside."

Safiria wondered why Tseng would tell Reno that he wasn't getting changed in front of him while she got changed, even though Reno meant that it was by the way she had said 'out'. There was a familiar note of finality the way she'd said it, just like his boss. She rushed out of the changing rooms a few minutes later, excited about finally being allowed to go on an assignment, although she had feeling that it was only because Rude was unable to accompany him. Reno gave her a quick check over before they left.

"Hm, I guess you look presentable. Got your weapon? Not that you'd need it with spells like those."

"Yes sir. Can we go now?"

"Aww man, you're way too excited, yo?"

"I've been locked in the office finishing your paperwork ever since I was promoted sir. The only time I've been out was the other day when we helped in Nibelheim. There's only so many months of paperwork one can take sir."

"I can't even stand an hour of the stuff. Let's go. It's in Midgar, so we can take my bike. Unless you're scared to go out on my 'death trap' as you called her this morning?"

Safiria had been waiting to go on an assignment for months, and she wasn't about to pass one up for fear of Reno crashing his stupid motorbike. As luck would have it, she'd probably be left nursing numerous broken bones while he'd be screaming for death because of a scratch to his face.

"I guess my life's worth risking..."

"Great! C'mon then, we don't want to be late for our _meeting_ with a certain idiosyncratic rebel group leader."

"That was a big word. Well done sir."

Reno never noticed the sarcasm in Safiria's voice, and stupidly took this as a compliment.

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Umm...Another one done! Huzzah! Review please!

For those of you who don't know, if I put EMR down, it's just and abbreviation for Reno's Electro-Mag Rod. I'm too lazy to type it each time. :)


	4. Two of a Kind

Dum dee dum dee dum...Another one by yours truly! 

Disclaimer: The almighty one does not own Final Fantasy VII or it's characters, although she's recently taken to drawing them. So her pics belong to her. :D

Good t'see the Disclaimery thing ain't dissing me no more. And I apoligise for the name of the 'target'. I was looking for something which was masculinely slutty. Ha!

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"Okay, now that I've sufficiantly scared you, we can go find our guy!"

Reno helped Safiria off his motorbike, she wasn't about to get off herself. She had been clinging on to himfor dear life as Reno swerved through the traffic. In the rain. Without helmets. Reno, being the asshole that he was, thought he'd have a little bit of funthen almost lost control, but he acted as if he had meant it and righted the bike by pushing his leg out against the wall they were about to collide with to keep them upright.

"I-I wasn't s-scared."

"Sure you weren't. That's why you were almost cutting of the circulation of blood flow from my waist down. You nearly enstrangulated me."

"Oh, y-you're just full of b-big words to-today, aren't you?"

"I've come to the conclusion that the last time you said that**wasn't** a compliment, so I'll pretend you didn't say that. Or I could just tell everyone back at work that you're currently accepting elevator invites."

Safiria grumbled and looked out from behind the trees that they were hidden in. There wasn't anything unusual going on, so she wondered why they were here.

"If you see a guy that resembled Don Corneo, kill him. Easy as that."

Safiria looked around, slightly confused. "There are a lot of bimbonic fat guys walking around sir."

"Okay, maybe this might help."

Holding up a photo fo Safiria to see, he waited until she had gotten a clear picture in her head. The man in the photo had the same blonde hair as Corneo, and the same lecherous eyes. He wasn't a robust character though, but tall and slim.

"Who's he?"

Reno scanned the area outside the trees before replying. "That would be his son. He thinks he can do my job better than me."

"No need to ask you what you other job is..." Safiria muttered to herself.

"Chasing ladies happens to be a very rewarding job."

"I'm sure it is. I take it that getting blitzed is your favourite pastime?"

Reno ignored he, and pointed out a man standing outside a bar. "That's one of his guards. Just outside that bar over there. He must be inside."

"A bit early to be in a bar is it not sir?"

Reno hid his laugh from her. If he had the choice, he'd live his days out in a bar. As long as it had some girls in it. Hiding hisEMR inside his jacket, he made his way to the bar, telling Safiria to act as if they weren't here to kill anyone. She hid her weapons of choice in her inside trouser legs. The perfect place to hide two small, but vicious looking daggers. One was made of silver, tinged with a blue sheen, while the other one was made of a black metallic substance, and they had the annoying abilities of draining ice and dark magic to restore the user.

"So Saff my girl, about time you let me take you out!"

Safiria was about to give him a sharp reply when he hissed in her ear. "Act natural or you'll blow our cover."

"Uhh...Yeah, I figured you had begged me long enough. I got tired of seeing you come over to me on your knees and grovelling."

Reno was beginning to regret his particular choice of subject, because she was free to embarass him as long as no one knew who they were.

"Yep, well I knew it was worth it when I heard about what you did to my friend when there was a powercut in the bar..."

Safiria's face turned a bright shade of crimson, but Reno couldn't tell whether she was angry or embarassed. The colour was enhanced due to the fact that her hair was blue and the red contrasted with her icy coloured eyes as well.

They walked the rest of the way to the bar in silence, occasionally glaring at each other. As they entered, they were hit by a cloud of smoke. It didn't bother Reno, he smoked all the time, but as soon as it hit Safiria's nose, she started choking. After laughing at her, Reno patted her back and told her to breathe with her hand over her mouth. After she had gotten used tot he smoke, he went over to the bar and ordered two drinks. Safiria stared at hers while Reno sipped his own.

"Ah, drinking on the job. Nothing like it, is there?"

"I don't drink..."

"You will by the time your finished with your rookie status." Reno grinned at her before drinking some more.

Safiria leaned over to whisper to him. "Is there a reason that you're talking out loud about this?"

"Yeah, this rebel group like to think they're a bit of an army. They even get promotions. How lame."

"So...why exactly is he on the ever extending hit list?"

"Well, the Corneo kid started up his own little rebel faction. To get back at us for killing his old man. Good times...Anyway, he's a bit like Don Corneo, and thinks he's a better womaniser than me, so I told Tseng I wanted the job."

"You're wierd..."

"And then there's the fact that he nabbed one of our guys. If you hadn't been hiding from me all day, you would have noticed that Ayaka hasn't turned up for work. Her and 'Lena went out yesterday night on a mission for Tseng, and 'Lena came back looking a bit beaten. It was a trap."

Safiria turned around on her stool to think about how a bunch of fools like Corneo had managed to trick the Turks, when she came face to face with a pair of hazel eyes. She only recognised them when she realised that they were from the photo Reno had shown her.

"Is this stool taken?" The voice issuing from his mouth was a smooth, cool one, the type that most women fell for. But Safiria wasn't most women.

"What are you, blind? Does it look like anyone's sitting on it?"

The man beside her let out a laugh that sounded as though it had been practiced for years. "II'm sure I've met you somewhere before..."

"Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

"Uhh, yeah...So, how's life? What sort of work do you do? Lap dancing?"

"Actually, I'm a female impersonator."

Beside her, Safiria could hear a barely audible laugh, followed by choking as Reno tried to swallow his drink. Her reply however, did not seem to deter Riko, as he was named. He flashed a smile at her and took the stool next to her.

'Oh great', she thought, 'now I'm stuck in between the two biggest philanderers I've ever met...'

"Okay, since you seem reluctant to talk to me, how about giving me your number?"

"Sure, it's in the phone book."

"Okay, but I'd need to know you name for that. Tell me, what name haveyou been graced with?"

"That's in the phone book as well, genius."

"At least let me buy you a drink?"

Riko continued talking to her, apparentlyoblivious to the fact that he was being given the cold shoulder."You don't seem to be drinking it. Can't hold your drinks?"

At this, Safiria lifted her glass and drained the orangish substance in one go. She wasn't about to let a blonde bimbo refer to her as a light weight, although she probably weighed less than the stool she was sitting on.

"Well would you look at that, the little bird can drink. I'll go find the barman and get you another."

As Riko stood up to go find the barman, Reno nudged her with his elbow. She turned to him, rubbing her throat which felt like it had a hole burning through it.

"Nice one Saff. You really shouldn't down drinks like that in one go, but I'll admit, it got his attention. You do realise what he's doing?"

"I'm fully aware what he's doing."

Reno turned back to his drink. In the time it had taken Safiria to drink one, he had gone through about three. "Just making sure you knew."

He turned around again when he heard Safiria laugh at him. "Aww, are you jealous sir?"

"Shut up."

"Well, I have to say, his chat up lines are a lot better than yours. How does it feel to be second best?"

"I said shut up. And he's coming back over."

Safiria turned around in Riko's direction. He had brought the barman back from wherever he was, and ordered him to bring two drinks. When they arrived, she couldn't help but notice that the barman took longer to prepare hers, and that he waited a while before putting it on the counter. Reno seemed to notice this too and gave her a warning glance.

"Well, drink up! Let's see that drinking prowess in action!"

"Sure. Wow, that guy's hot!"

This seemed to have been the right thing to say, for Riko glared over in the direction of Safirias gaze, although she hadn't saw anyone. While he wasn't looking, she swapped her glass with one of Reno's empty ones.

"What guy are you talking about? Oh, that was quick. I guess you can take your drink after all..."

"Yeah, I learned from the best."

Beside her, Reno laughed into his drink again, only he didn't choke.

"Hey, come with me and we can find somewhere more...private."

Riko got up and started making his way towards the other side of the bar, and Safiria turned to Reno, who told her to go after him.

"I'll take out all his guards. Make sure you know where Aya is before you kill him, I know how much you want him dead, yo?"

"Heh heh..."

Safiria stood up and followed Riko, while Reno looked for the guards. He had noticed which people had kept their eyes on Riko while he was on hs own, they could only be his bodyguards. He shuffled off, nobody noticing him. He was a twig waiting to be stepped on compaired to the other men in the bar. He walked behind each of the guards, paralyzing them with his weapon, so that they couldn't do anything but stand still. When he was satisfied that they were all taken care of, he made his way to the door Riko had gone through. Putting a hand on the door knob, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Fuck..."

He hadn't counted on the barman being an associate. Not to cause a ruckus, he allowed the barman to steer him towards the fire exit behind the building.

-x-x-

Safiria stepped into a room with blackened lighting. The dim glow of the lights gave her a feeling of dread. Looking around, the room consisted of not much furniture. There were two chairs and a table, next to a bed which took up most of the room.

"Have a seat."

Riko had appeared behind her. He motioned to the chairs and table, and Safiria took the seat closest to the door. They had come up a flight of steps, before passing two rooms and ending up here.

"So, what brings you all the way out here? It's dangerous for young girls, you know."

"I'm not a child. And I came here with a friend."

Safiria tried to look disorientated, because Riko was counting on her having finished her spiked drink.

"That friend who ignored you? That wasn't vey nice of him...How could he ignore something so cute?"

"Again, you're using words that you would say to a child. I'm old enough to look after myself."

"It sure seems that way..." Riko's eyes glittered. "Are you old enough to look after me?"

Safiria laughed in the most high pitched, girlishly fluttering voice she could make. This seemed to make Riko grin even more.

"Of course I am!"

When she replied, Riko leaned back in his chair, convinced that he had scored for the night. At this, Safiria pulled out her twin daggers, raising one to his throat.

"I'll take**real** good care of you. So, what happened to my friend? The one you grabbed yesterday night?"

-x-x-

Reno leaned against the wall of the building, holding his neck. When he had stepped outside, he was just in time to see more guards before they pinned him to the wall by his throat.

"So, what's your buisiness here anyway? Gonna get back at my boss for stealing your friend away? The best man won, I say."

The guards laughed at the barmans joke and waited for Reno's reply.

"Of course the better man won, and this is certainly no way to treat a winner!"

His smart ass reply earned him a hard kick to the gut.

"Now behave little boy. You should learn not to mess with Corneo. It isn't good for your health, y'see? Now, where did you come from anyways? You sure didn't come from the station. What are you here for, apart from letting the boss steal your girl?"

The goons surounding Reno laughed again, abviously thinking that this was the funniest thing in the world to see.

"Well, unless you're a complete asshole-" This time, a fist collided with the right side of his jaw. "...Then you'd know that she's not my girl. Two people don't wear the same uniform for the fun of it, my stupid friend." Right on cue, he felt another blow to the left this time. "She's my rookie-" The next blow was an uppercut, raising Reno from the ground, and slumping down the wall. "Okay...That one was uncalled for..." Spitting out some blood, he tried to stand again, only to be kicked back down.

"This is gonna hurt in the morning"  
This time, it was the baman who laughed. "Too bad for you sonny, you ain't gonna live to see another mornin'."

The rest of the goons started laughing as well, until Reno pulled a gun from his inside pocket.

"Not if I have a say in the matter."

Firing shots in all directions, the goons slumped to the ground one after another, until only the barman was standing. Clenching his fists, he ran at the red head, launching a fist towards him but missing. Reno pulled a sideflip, landing neatly beside the back door. Aiming a shot for the stunned barman, he pulled the trigger and stepped back inside.

The noise in he bar hit Reno as he opened the door. Flicking his firey hair, he moved quickly towards the door, checking that the other guards were still immobilized. Seeing that they were all gone, he moved quicker towards the door, knowing fine well that they had gone to check on their boss. The noise in the bar seemed to have drowned out the gunshots he had fired, so no one seemed to notice that he was up to something. When he climbed the staircase and entered the hall above, he saw a figure in a black suit with lilac hair checking for a pulse on one of the guards.

"Well, that takes care of him. Heh heh, I rock."

"I'm sure you do Aya. You should demonstrate your prowess sometime with me. Where's Saff?"

As if waiting for Reno to say this, the door on the room was burst down, followed by Safiria being thrown bodilly with it.

"Ugh...I don't recommend going in there, unless you value your life...Oww."

"Don't be so weak Saff. I take it that he has a penchant for vicious creatures like his old man then, yo?"

"Not exactly...Damn, that hurts..." she gasped, holding her chest.

Reno gave Safiria a funny look, before looking in the doorway. Grinning at him from inside was a familiar looking face. His weapon was pretty familiar too. As was the silver hair, which now had a bit more life in it.

"I agree with Saff...Who's for escaping?"

"Not you anyway! I'm going toshow you how to**really** kick someone on the face!"

"Oh shit..."

Ayaka looked in the doorway in time to see Reno fly back out, hitting the wall and slumping to the floor. After that, he didn't get back up. Safiria crawled to where Reno was and checked for a pulse, although she wasn't satisfied with the faint beating. Before Yazoo could do anymore damage, she cast a seal where the door should have been, not allowing him to come near them.

"You know, I'm going to get you all. It's only a matter of time, so you should just give up now and stop prolonging your suffering."

Ignoring him, Ayaka helped Safiria to her feet, then slung Reno's arm around her shoulder to support his weight.

"Aww darn, he's heavier than he looks...Jeezo, his nickname is now heavy-load!"

"Believe me Aya, he'd twist your words and take it as a compliment. C'mon, we should hurry. That ain't gonna hold him in there for long...Ugh."

Ignoring Yazoo's endless stream of taunts and threats, they made their way down the stairs. The bar was still bustling, the people inside oblivious to anything that was outside the room. Making their way to where Reno had hidden his bike, Ayaka attempted to dump him behind a bush.

"As much as I'd love to get rid of him, Tseng would have our throats." Safiria told her.

"Life's not fair, is it? Can't you teleport or something?"

"If I could teleport, do you think we'd be in this mess?"

"Fair do's..."

"Pick Reno up. I need his keys."

Leaning him against a tree, they both started searching his pockets. Ayaka started giggling when they found them.

"He would SO be enjoying this if he was conscious. Do you think he looks different?"

Both girls looked closely at Reno. Something was different.

"Maybe it's the bruising that's starting to appear...?"

Ayaka shook her head. "Nah...Is his hair longer? It's hanging in his face more."

"Big improvement. But I don't think his hair could grow**that** quickly. Maybe it's-"

Ayaka looked curiously at Safiria as she looked at Reno in horror, and checked to see if Yazoo had come after them. "What's up?"

"Oh for the love of...He's gonna**murder** me! He'll find some way to blame me, I just know it!"

Again, Ayaka gave Safiria a curious look. "Uhh...which would be because...?"

"His freakin' **goggles**! I heard he took the hand off of the last guy who even**touched** them!"

"That's not true. He shot the guy in the head from my information, and I'm like, info central when it comes to Shinra gossip."

"You're**so** not helping! Uhh...We can blame Yazoo! Yeah, it was all his fault anyways."

"Whoa there, sister! We? You're on your own with this one."

"Oh shut up and help me get him on the bike. How does this thing work?"

"Beats the hell outta me...It looks like three'll fit on it anyway. I'll let you drive, so if we crash, I don't have to take the blame!"

Safiria jumped on, then helped lift Reno on. Climbing behind Reno, Ayaka_again_ started giggling.

"He would enjoy this too!"

Managing to get the bike started, Safiria struggled to turn the bike around. She didn't realise how powerful it really was.

"Damn, how does he ride this thing? With extreme difficulty, I'm guessing."

Eventually righting the bike, she found it a lot easier to keep it stable the faster they went. Picking up speed, they hurried to where one of the main roads that took you to all parts of Midgar. Straining her ears, Safiria listened to what Ayaka was shouting over the roar of the engine.

"Dude, this so totally rocks! We're, like, on a motorbike!"

"You rhymed!"

Both girls burst into fits of giggles, until a gunshot from behind them almost made Safiria swerve. Turning slightly, they could see who the perpetrator of the shots was. Yazoo had finally managed to escape the room in which he was held, and had trailed them on a motorbike of his own. Ayaka's voice made Safiria turn back to face the road.

"Why on earth does he have Corneo riding with him? Surely he wouldn't be interested in working with**that** sleazo!"

Turning to look again, Safiria saw that Riko was behind Yazoo, and was also aiming at them with a gun. Feeling a sharp pain in her left arm, she gasped, allowing herself to lose control of the bike. Just as it was about to keel over onto it's side, another few bikes appeared out of nowhere, two of them righting the toppling bike.

"You ladies should get out of here quick. We'll hold the psycho back!"

Ayaka turned her head to see a man with dark hair and a **Soldier** uniform yelling orders to the rest of his team. A couple of them surrounded their bike, making sure that they wouldn't lose control again. Ayaka continued to watch, as the rest of them veered backwards, aiming to slow down Yazoo. As they got further and further away, she looked forward again, and noticed that Reno was regaining, then losing consciousness.

"Uhh...Saff? I don't think he looks too good. Don't you know any healing spells?"

"I can't teleport, nor do I use white magic. If I could, I wouldn't be trying to steer this thing with one hand! Does that enlighten you a bit more Aya?"

"Jeezo, no need to get snappy!. How far are we from the Shinra building? I'll bet the nurses there know what to do."

One of the soldiers who had been riding with them answered her question for her. "We should be back in about five minutes. Think you can hold on till then?"

Akaya glared as much as she anyone could glare while going full speed on a motorbike. "It's not me that needs it, it's him."

"Yeah, but I can tell that you're thinking of just letting him go. You're all that's keeping him on you know."

"Damn, I guess you caught on to my evil plan, muahahahahahaha!"

Ayaka stopped through her evil laugh when she started choking on it.

"Okay, I get the picture, I shouldn't joke about those things..."

Fifteen minutes later, Ayaka was in Tsengs office telling him what had happened with Safiria, who had a sling around her left arm, and Reno, who had cried and begged until he had gotten morphine and was now looking considerably high.

"Well, what happened after they took you?"

Ayaka grinned, as she always did in serious situations. "I caused such a ruckus, that Corneo gave up trying it on with me, so his guards locked me in a room and forgot about me sir. But I did hear that he was going to be in Kalm for a few days, starting next Wednesday. I don't know if his plans've changed because of his new friend, or if he actually made the plans with him."

"Hmm...I guess something good came out of your kidnap...What about you Reno?"

"Moomba's scare me sir."

Tseng looked at Reno with a look that said 'What is he talking about?' before giving him a look that said 'You're an asshole, get out of my sight!'. Giggling like a naughty schoolgirl, Reno left the room, presumably to sit in the corner of his office to hide from the Moomba's.

"You tell me instead Safiria."

"All I got out of him before that freak sideshow turned up was Ayaka's where abouts. After that, his guards burst in and I was forcefully thrown from the room, door and all. But they seem to be on the same side, they were shooting at us when we tried to away. And there were a bunch of guys who helped us, they looked like **Soldier** members."

"That would be Wolfe and his team..."

Right on queue, he door aopened and Wolfe walked into the room, looking slightly worse than he had been to begin with.

"Well, we got your Turks in time. Shall we continue looking for the Presidents location sir?"

Tseng thought for a moment. While searching for the President, they had found Yazoo, which meant that Yazoo was also on Rufus Shinra's trail. If they trailed Yazoo, they would probably find the President, but perhaps too late.

"We have no choice. We must find him before Yazoo does...Send your men out immediately."

Saluting, Wolfe left the room. Ayaka turned to Tseng, who was shaking his head and staring at an invisible object on his desk.

"That's the guy. Didn't think we could handle Corneo on our own?"

Sighing, Tseng reluctantly replied, all the while wondering what Elena was thinking when she recruited Ayaka as her rookie. "Actually, we found out a little later that Corneo was working with Yazoo. Unfortuantely, Reno had already left for the assignement, so we couldn't warn him. I also heard from Rude that Yazoo has quite a grudge against Reno, so it was important that we sent out some reinforcements. You two are dismissed. And try not to strain your arm too much Safiria, the last thing I need is a Turk out of action for good, rookie or not."

As Ayaka and Safiria left his office, they could hear him muttering to himself, something along the lines of "How on earth does Ayaka come back in one piece when it was_her_ who was kidnapped...?" Closing the door behind her, Safiria turned in time to see Ayaka being shaken about by Elena, who was saying sorry over and over, and asking if she was hurt.

"Oh my god, I should have kept a better eye on you! Are you hurt? Speak to me!"

"I'm alright, but I'm gonna puke if you don't quit shaking me!"

"Oh, right, sorry!"

Laughing with relief, Elena let Ayaka go, and felt someones arms drape around her shoulders.

"Hey, 'Lena babe! Since I saved your rookie, how about a date?"

"Bug off Reno! I wouldn't even consider going out with you **ever**!"

"Aww...Nobody loves me around here. Hey Aya, how about a hug for your saviour?"

Aya grinned at Reno, and hugged Safiria, crushing her arm in the process. "Okay, I suppose I could spare a hug for my saviour!"

"_OWW!_ Quit it, you're gonna kill me!"

Ayaka let go of her, grinning and stuck her tongue out at Reno. Safiria started whimpering as sharp pains shot through her arm.

"Let me kiss you better, yo?" Reno held out his arms, and Safiria pointed behind her with her good arm.

"Look, a Moomba!"

And so, Reno screamed like a six year old girl and ran, with his arms flailing, back from whence he came, much to the relief of the three female Turks. They decided to go pay a visit to Rude, avoiding Teioh as well, who they sighted hobbling up the hallway with his crutch.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Another one done. Phew, I have one serious case of writing syndrome. Which means more soon! Oh boy.


	5. The Heads of Departments

Because I'm so brilliantly incredible, I updated with 2 chapters last time! Yay, go me!

Disclaimer: The almighty one does not own Final Fantasy VII, or it's characters. Just the made up ones. But then again, her friends own them. Except Safiria, who she made herself. What a clever girl!

Damn, the disclaimer hates me again. Maybe it's Reno in disguise, getting back at me for writing that stuff about him...?

Disclaimer: Dammit, who told you!

Oh yeah...I'm not using the usual FFVII spells, but the ones from the later games, as Thundara and such like sound better than Bolt2. :D

Reno in disguise as the disclaimer: She doesn't own them either. Haha. Feel bumped.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

After waiting for all of his Turks to get back in fighting shape, Tseng called a board meeting of all the important staff in the building. The Heads of departments were all present, and were seated at the large board room table. The Turks stood to attention behind Tseng's seat. Standing out most was Reno, whose shirt was unbuttoned and untucked, adn was leaning against the wall smoking.

Tseng surveyed the people sitting at the huge table in the board room. He had gotten rid of the useless Palmer, not because he liked to drink _lard_ in his tea, but because he was useless. Well, maybe it **was** to do the lard, but he wouldn't tell anyone that.

"Ahem! Would everyone please look this way?"

Tseng addressed the people at the table as a whole, standing up and motioning for attention. The Head of Weaponry Development sat to closest to Tseng, a female with pale pink hair. Even more efficient than Scarlet had been, Shigo was obsessed with explosions which was the reason she got on so well with Safiria, who had a little obsession with hiding small 'packages' in the desks of those who irritated her. Many a time had Reno opened a drawer on his desk and came face to face with a fire cracker. He still didn't know who the culprit was, not thinking at all that his rookie ould ever be so evil.

As the General of **Soldier**, Tetsuo Wolfe also sat at the table, opposite Shigo. He was in his purple uniform, which hadn't changed at all since Cloud had once worn one. Although it was a board meeting, he still had his trusty gun at his side.

The new crazy professor sat near Tetsuo, Azrial. He looked as if he had gone insane with some hair gel, with dark green hair spiked in all directions. In Heideggers place was a young woman, a 'friend' of Reno's. Sari was the floor whore. She must have had some use, or she wouldn't be getting payed so much. Reno just loved it when she came into his office. She would leave some paperwork on his desk, and if Reno was in, she wold bend over slightly, giving him full view of her chest. The only one not dressed smartly, she was wearing a black miniskirt with a **very** tight corset of black and red. Her knee high stiletto's didn't help either.

"Now that I have your attention, we can begin. As you all know, the President Rufus has been gone for some time. However, we have recieved reports from our intelligence that he has been sighted in several places. Tetsuo will bring you all up to date."

Taking his seat at the head of the table, Tseng sat down and waited for Wolfe to stand. Wolfe however, looked around the room for someone named Tetsuo. He was always called Wolfe, and hadn't realised that the Turks leader was speaking to him. Recieving a sharp kick from Shigo, he stood up quickly.

"My intelligence reports-" Wolfe glared at the Turks behind him. He heard one mutter 'what intelligence?' and then saw Reno trying not to laugh. "-that the young President has been seen in both Nibelheim**and** Mideel. How he has been in both places at once are mysteries to us. Recent reports however, say that he has been sighted here in Midgar. Currently, a team of my best men are out collecting information. As for Yazoo, the report that he was heading for Kalm was indeed true, but we arrived too late. We do know that he has been in and out of Midgar, always leaving with a new fighter on his side."

Sitting back down, Wolfe waved a hand in the air to motion that he was finshed. Tseng stood back up to address the room.

"Well, as you all know, we need to find the President before our silver haired assailent does. I want you all to work to the best of your abilities to co-operate. Shigo, as Head of Weaponry Development, I need to you come up with some powerful weapons, and fast. Our enemy is no push over. Our first priority is the the Turks weapons-"

At this, Tseng could hear groans from behind him. Turning, he saw Reno holding his dear EMR to his chest, Safiria hiding her twin daggers behind her back, and Ayaka taking off her clawed gloves and hiding them in her pockets. Teioh tried to hide his katana in his jacket, only succeding in making a hole in the side of it, while Elena and Rude exchanged worried glances.

"**As I was saying!" **Tseng said sternly, turning back to Shigo, "We need those weapons done first, as they're constantly...working. Then, we'll need improved ammo for the soldiers weapons, and then some explosives. I have a feeling they'll come in handy."

"I'll get right to it sir. If you'll all excuse me please..." Rising, Shigo walked to where the Turks were standing. Much to the disgust and dismay of the Turks, she asked for their weapons, Not wanting them to embarass him in front of the Heads of Departments, Tseng glared at them with an 'I'm going to kill you all if anyone makes a scene' look. Reno hugged his EMR, getting a shock in return as it sparked him. Deciding that he now hated it for attacking him, he guiltlessly handed it over, glaring at it.

"I never liked you anyway..." He grumped to his weapon. He was about to turn on his heel and flounce dramatically from the room when he realised he was still in a Board Meeting.

Tseng gave them the 'look' again, and the rest of the Turks handed over their weapons.

"Good. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I need you to up the training schedules of the soldiers. We need as many good men as possible."

Wolfe stood up and saluted Tseng, before marching out of the room, presumably towards the elevator.

"Professor Azrial, as the new Head Scientist, you've yet to come up with anything which would be of great aid to us. I intend to come into work next week and find a report from you that's **worth** seeing. Now get moving!"

Azrial walked slowly to the door, muttering to himself, and plotting some new experiments. When he left, Tseng told Sari to make herself useful, and heard Reno wooping behind him. When Sari had left, he turned angrily to his Turks.

"That was ridiculous! If any of you embarass me _one more time_, I swear that it **will** cost you your jobs!"

Reno spoke up, obviously not knowing when to draw the line. "You wouldn't fire me, yo? You love me too much!"

**"RENO!"**

Knowing that he had touched one nerve too many, Reno ducked as Tseng swung at him, and darted for the door. Laughing insanely, he retreated to the elevator, and went back to the office that he shared with Rude and their two rookies.

"I swear, I'm going to _accidently_ **knife** him one day." Safiria strolled leisurely from the room with her hands behind her head. Ayaka left as well, to her and Elena's office.

"Aww man, I'm gonna have to go get this fixed..." Teioh started grumbling, looking at the hole in his black suit.

"Then go get it fixed!" Tseng hissed. "I don't have anything else for you _high school drop-outs_ to get done today!"

"For your info, I didn't **drop** out, I was **kicked** outta my school!" Teioh told his boss. "Hey, does that mean we have the day off?"

"Oh piss off..."

As Teioh ran from the room wooping, to tell his comrades, Rude shook his head. Tseng didn't swear unless absolutely neccessary, or he was under a lot of stress. In this case, it was probably both. Teioh had the extremely annoying ability to get on any nerve possible, but then again, it was better to spend the day locked up with Teioh than Reno. Reno was First-Class annoyance and irritacy. Elena stepped forward to her boss.

"Are you sure sir? I could stay behind and help with any work you need done? I'm sure searching for the President requires quite a lot of work."

"I have nothing I could be doing either sir." Rude chipped in.

"Ah, Elena and Rude, the only two sane Turks I have left..."

Elena laughed at him. "Saff's quite sane too sir."

"Oh? I'm really beginning to doubt that. I know for a fact that she's the one who's been blowing up Reno's desk every time he opens the drawer.

Rude smiled visibly. "What Reno wouldn'tdo to hear that sir."

Tseng smiled as well. "As it is, I only have some small amounts of paperwork to get through. You two are free to go as well."

Still smiling, Rude left the office. He knew that Reno would be waiting for him so they could go get smashed, and he wanted to see how far Reno would go to get the name of the fire cracker perpetrator. Elena went with him to get Ayaka. She hated trains, so Elena drove her to work. No right minded person would trust Ayaka with a car anyway.

-x-x-

Teioh's plans were to go get his jacket fixed, then meet the rest of the Turks in a bar of Reno's choice. Reno had managed to persuade everyone that they didn't get much time off, so they should go passout together, even though a silver haired maniac was hot on their heels.

"It's good to see that you hurt yourself instead of my bike, Saff."

"Oh shut up, or I'll pull my daggers across the paintwork."

Smirking at her, Reno patted her on the back. "I hate to break it to you, but Shigo stole your daggers remember?"

This time, it was Safiria's turn to smirk. "She knows I use a dagger. She doesn't know that I use _twin_ daggers..."

The colour drained from Reno's face, and he jumped in front of his bike, holding his arms out to protect it, as Safiria pulled out a familiar black shiney blade.

"She got my good one. But this one has all my favourite materia on it, so watch it or I'll knife you in a back alley."

Ayaka appeared behind Safiria and laughed at her. "And what would you be _doing _exactly in a back alley with _Reno?_"

Reno looked thoughtful as he leaned against his bike, then laughed out loud at the look on Safiria's face. "It's not everyday someone makes **you** speechless, baby doll."

Ayaka gave him a high five, and waited beside Elena's car. The cute yellow sports car was Elena's pride and joy. She had once broken Reno's wrist for attempting to scratch it. Safiria glared at Reno and Ayaka in turn, before sitting to wait for Elena. She wasn't getting on the train, since they were all heading out to the same place.

Ayaka suddenly giggled, attracting Reno's attention

"What up, yo?"

"I can just imagine Elena, tucking Tseng up with a warm blanket and a cup of hot milk into the chair behind his desk."

Reno and Ayaka's laughter was cut short when Elena tutted at them. She had heard what they had said and glared at them.

"I can hear you, you know! At least Saffy doesn't say nasty things about me!"

"Think what you want 'Lena, think what you want..." Reno said, turning and getting on is bike.

Safiria growled at him. "What's that supposed to mean! I was gonna wait till no one could see, but I just decided that I'm gonna kill you **now**!"

Safiria was held back by a firm hand on her shoulder. Lifting her with one arm, Rude picked her up and locked her inside Elena's car.

"Someone needs a time out."

Reno revved the engine on his bike and laughed. "Nice one Rude. Thought she was really gonna kill me, yo?"

Still laughing, Reno shot out of the building's parking lot. Ayaka dived in the front seat before her friend could, while Elena got into the drivers seat. Leaning out of the window she asked Rude for directions.

"Just follow on behind me. You really couldn't lose me."

Elena found out what Rude meant when he pulled out in a flashy black 4x4. It looked like it was made out of the same substance as the bullet-proof choppers in which the President used. Motioning for Rude to stop, Ayaka climbed out of Elena's window and in through Rude's. His was much more dangerous looking.

-x-x-

Rude sighed with relief when he finally pulled up outside the bar. Reno's bike was there, which suggested he had started drinking wothout him.Ayaka never new when to shut up. She could wear out _any_ enemy just by constantly talking. First, she laughed at the dice hanging from his rear view mirror. Asking hundreds of questions, she finally stopped when he explained that they had been a present from Reno one time, and he had insisted that Rude show them off. They were black and fluffy, with shiny dots. Then she asked stupid questions about the traffic signs, finally asking why he was bald before he gave her the cold shoulder. Turning around, he saw Elena pulling up beside him, and get out of the car with Safiria.

"How do you make her shut up?"

Safiria grinned and flipped something to Ayaka.

"Aya...Shut up."

Ayaka let out a happy squeal. "Yay, money! Now I'm one step closer to gaining massive riches and buying the planet!"

Rude sighed at her. It wasn't like she had no money, she came from a rich family and was one of the wealthiest people around. She'd apparently do anything for more. As they entered the darkened bar, they caught sight of Reno in a corner, smoking. As always. He beckoned over the barman when they sat down around the small table. He gave the man some gil and told him to bring some drinks over to them. Elena glared at the smoke around them

"**Must** you smoke those things in front of everyone, Reno?"

"Hey, I can't live without my goddamned smokes!" he moaned, then took a drink from the tray the barman had placed in front of them. "Or my booze. How about a seating plan, yo? You three ladies can sit with me, it's not like Rude speaks to me in public or anything."

"Shut up Reno."

Reno grinned at his friend before stretching out on his chair. He couldn't help but notice that the seat beside him was empty.

"Now I feel lonely..."

Safiria glared at Reno, as did Elena. They both knew that it was him who kept brushing his legs against theirs. Ayaka started giggling something about Reno being gay.

"We all know how much you really love Teioh..."

"Are you implying that I, of all people, am gay. If I were to take my clothes off, it wouldn't be my face that everyone in here remembered. If you know what I mean."

It was Rudes turn to try and put Reno down next. "Yes, we all know what you mean Reno. And considering that these three are the only females in the bar, and that you haven't been in bed with either of them, I'd have to agree with Ayaka's point. As much as she annoys me."

Ayaka piped upagain. "Yeah, and how could they really forget you? Smallest dick in all of Midgar."

At this,Safiria fell out of her seat laughing. Elena looked shocked, more to do with the facthat she hadn't though of this reply. Rude hid an amused expression and grabbed a drink, turnng so that no one could see the smirk slowly spreading across his usually stoic face.

"Shut up yaka, I still haven't forgiven you for losing my favourite accessory."

"Hey, I'm the one who lost 'em. What's up, feelin' insecure without your nightstick?" Safiria taunted Reno.

"As a matter of fact, it's called an Electro Magnetic Rod. But if you swing by my place later, I'll show you my nightsti-"

Before he could finish, Reno doubled over as he felt a boot collide with his gut. Elena looked pleased with herself as he looked up in pain. Laughing, she grabbed something to drink and turned away from Reno, as did the rest of them. Rude quietly listened to the conversation, sipping some unknown red substance. It was obviously strong, else he would have finished it already. Reno had been silent after Elena's swift kick, while the three girls were loudly talking about Moomba's, much to Reno's disgust.

After a while of silence, Reno stood up to get more alcohol. He had had quite a bit, because he swayed a little before staggering to the counter. He growled as he saw the terrible trio point over to him and lean in to whisper to each other. The looks on their faces told him that Aya was her usual cheery self, Elena was slurring a bit and Safiria was 'finely drunkened' as Tseng had once called him. He should really start them off with something lighter. Wondering how Aya could still be conscious with the amount she had had over the past hour, he ordered some more drinks, stumbling with a tray back to the table, drinks sloshing about in the glasses.

"Hey Reno, I have some interesting info for you..."

Reno turned and stared at the person speaking, taking a while to figure out that it was Rude.

"Yo, wassup buddy? Watch'yo talkin bout?"

His head lolled to one side as he slurred, eventually have to hold it up with his hands.

"It's about those firecrackers..." Rude couldn't help but notice that Safiria was now paying attention to him and Reno, not the Moomba talk. She looked rather dazed, but he couldn't tell whether it was the alcohol or the thought of being ratted on.

"You find thefuckin' guywho'sh been blowin' me up!"

"Guy? Yeah, whatever...But first, you've gotta do a few things for me..."

"Hmm...What kind of thingsh, yo? I'll gettem done. If it'sh poshible."

Rude gave Reno a rare grin, and thought for a moment. Giving Reno his tasks, he sat back to watch the fireworks.

Firstly, he approached the bar and started telling off a huge hulk of a man for 'flirting' with him. The man was looking extremely pissed off, not just because his friends were laughing at him, but because now everyone was going to think he was gay. Then, Reno started hitting on the barman. After he had finished that, he pulled Elena onto a table and started dancing to the dull thud of the music that had been playing since they had entered. After being slapped around the head, he yelled for quiet.

"Yo people, shurrup! I gotta shpeak to y'all! See that woman over there!"

Everyone turned, and looked at a man standing at the bar. He had long blonde hair pulled into a tail at the back, but he didn't look at all feminine.

"That'sh the woman I wanna marry! Hey yo, blondie, marry meee!"

As Reno yelled out the last word, he leaned back and toppled off the table, landing in a heap on the floor. Leaning down, Rude whispered a name into Reno's ear. Not caring that Safiria was his responsibilty to look after, nor that she was a girl, he stood up and swung his fist at her. Unfortunately, the barman had saw something bad happening as soon as Reno has entered the bar and called in some help. Safiria ducked out of the way, and Reno's fist collided with a very pissed off and vicious looking face. He remembered it as well.

"What the hell yo think you're doin'! I oughta blow you Turks to gaddamned hell and back, you good fer nuthin' assholes!"

Reno stuttered a bit when he replied. "Yo, B-Barrett my man, how'sh it hangin'? You can put your g-gun arm down by the way..."

After this, all hell broke loose. Barrett lunged at Reno, missing and attacking Rude instead. Ayaka climbed onto the counter at the bar and started yelling something over the din.

"Place your bets here! Come and bet on the fight! Who's gonna win, it's Turks versus **Avalanche** tonight folks!"

The barman was also on the counter, trying to shut everyone up and take the fight outside.

Elena stood up to try and get out of the way, but slipped on something, falling over onto her back, kicking a hefty looking man in the process. This brought the mans friend as well as Elena into the brawl as well. Rude had stood up and aimed a punch at Barrett, missing and knocking out someone behind him.

Elena stood back up, dusting her suit off. "A banana peel? How did I fall over on a banana peel!"

As she yelled this, she was shoved over the side of the table, onto the floor again. Ayaka was still cheering on the Turks.

"You go Rude! Ooohh, unlucky Reno! Kick him in the-" She ducked to escape a flying chair, and picked up a drink as she dived behind the counter. Climbing back up, she caught site of Safiria, who was now standing on a stool, throwing random spells, and lashing out with her dagger at anyone who got too close, giggling drunkenly all the while. "You go girl! Use Blizzaga!"

Ayaka was them thrown back into the bar as a well aimed Blizzaga spell was cast in her direction. She got up and started screaming.

"Hey, I didn't mean at me! You are **so **dead! Hey Reno, she's over there!"

Reno laughed out loud, waving a thank you at Ayaka and dived at Safiria's legs before she could attack him, knocking them both onto the floor. Rude however, was taking on three men at once, and having no trouble. He got a bit of a surprise when he felt a gun at the back of his head. Turning slowly, there was another man behind him. He needn't have worried, because out of nowhere, a tall yet slim figure dived onto the mans neck. Pulling him down and taking his weapon. Rude took out the other three before turning to the black haired man who was laughing like a maniac and kicking the other in the ribs.

"What up sir? Ain't you just glad I got your back? I can't believe you started without me though...Stay down you bastard!"

Teioh gave Rude a thumbs up before turning to join the fray, when a loud gunshot silenced everyone.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Muhahahahahahaha! Only two people know who it is! Yay, go me, I'm so nasty!

Reno in disguise as the disclaimer: If you all love me, drop a review, yo?


End file.
